Brown in the Land of the Blues and Blondes

Police Sketch

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 09:48:06 +0000

This sketch of a car (?) was released by a police station from some obscure village in Norway. According to the witness, this suspicious-looking car was seen at the place where an old woman was murdered. Since the wheels are missing, it's possible that this car was travelling on two feet of snow when the witness spotted it. The form kind of reminds you of a modern race car but the rear side (i think that's what the bottom drawing is) somehow resembles that of a 60's thunderbird. Well I hope they find this car. In the meantime, the Swedes are feasting over this norwegian sketch as a laughing matter. This reminds me of this sketch of a suspect from the Bolivian police sometime last year: This was aired on their national TV news and believe it or not, the police claimed later that they successfully caught this person. Well, I guess if you look like the sketch above, with no ears, peculiar hair-do and all that, it will be very, very hard not to recognize you.

An Ode to the Pussy(cat)

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 21:01:25 +0000

Here's a Valentine's poem to you all from Edward Lear, ~1870. One of the very few poems I still know by heart, and can recite with feelings...LOL. The Owl and The Pussycat I. The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea In a beautiful pea green boat, They took some honey, and plenty of money, Wrapped up in a five pound note. The Owl looked up to the stars above, And sang to a small guitar, 'O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love, What a beautiful Pussy you are, You are, You are! What a beautiful Pussy you are!' II. Pussy said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl! How charmingly sweet you sing! O let us be married! too long we have tarried: But what shall we do for a ring?' They sailed away, for a year and a day, To the land where the Bong-tree grows And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood With a ring at the end of his nose, His nose, His nose, With a ring at the end of his nose. III. 'Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling Your ring?' Said the Piggy, 'I will.' So they took it away, and were married next day By the Turkey who lives on the hill. They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon. Lovely, isn't it?

Did You Miss Me?

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 07:30:12 +0000

Me, too! Somehow, I also missed my self-aggrandizing and opinionated posts. Well, the fact of the matter is that this unusually harsh winter season has forced me into a state of torpor, a kind of physical and mental hibernation typical of bats and mice. Temperature has been below zero in weeks and no sunlight whatsoever has managed to pierce through this part of Sweden's atmosphere. People have thus turned into cold-blooded, and pale-skinned bipeds, much like those beautiful and sex-starved characters in nowadays hugely popular vampire series. Speaking of which, I'm inclined to believe that I was once a vampire during the high renaissance, providing assistance to Michaelangelo while he was painting the ceiling of Sistine chapel. How do you think he could paint upside down for hours for four years without a vampire assisting him? Next time you visit Sistine, focus your binocular somewhere in the iconic Creation of Adam portion of the fresco and you will perhaps see the graffiti I left there which read, "mogLi wuz here! 1510 " Next time I'll tell you about my apprenticeship with L da V, as he was more popularly known then. Ever wondered about the true story behind Pretty Mona's lack of brows? Well goodbye for now. I got to take my daily V drink.

Facebook Bug?

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 21:15:31 +0000

If you have a Facebook account, try to type the default phrase you see on your wall writing area (in swedish, the logg area). If your Facebook is in english, it should be, "What´s on your mind?" In swedish it should say in your Logg, "Vad gör du just nu?" Then try to "share" ("dela") it. Makes me wonder why it won’t register in the system? Also, now that I saw the swedish version, it is interesting that the english "what’s on your mind?" has the counterpart phrase, "vad gör du just nu?" in swedish, which is translated to "what are you doing right now?" "What are you doing right now?" is a rather stupid question to pose on facebook, I’d say. Because the smart aleck in me will of course write, "Facebooking, what else you nincompoop!" Perhaps this "asking the obvious" is another swedish thing that I have yet to understand. Addendum: You can get around the bug by changing the language settings first into another language then write the phrase in your own language. Then you can impress all your facebook friends that you are sharing the phrase they all see anyway on their walls. Sounds stupid and meaningless, right? Well that's the point. LOL.

Ass Prof

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 09:41:01 +0000

Ok, this has nothing to do with HGG, the kick assprof with 4-body problem, as I'm sure she finds amusement in labeling herself with that academic title. What I'm not sure though is whether the guest researcher which my department invited from abroad would appreciate it. On the door announcing this guest researcher's lecture: This is a typical SweEnglish mistake, when the Swedes use swedish expression/words within the context of the english language. In the university hierarchy of english-speaking countries (primarily in the U.S.), there are the Assistant Professor and Associate Professor titles, the former abbreviated as Asst. Prof. and the latter, Assoc. Prof. Thus, Ass Prof won't be able to distinguish between the two. And besides, Ass Prof is the abbreviation for a real university title, those Ass**** Professors, who delight in causing much pain to the asses of lowly mortals around them. Anyway, I'd be so looking forward to this lecture of our brand new Ass Prof!

New Year's Resolution

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 19:26:21 +0000

Same as last year's.

God Must Really Be Pissed

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:56:11 +0000

Remember God's email to me? Dear Faithful,I'm sorry to say that your nation will not be spared from another threatening typhoon, nor from any other natural calamity for that matter... True enough, some weeks after that email, at least two more typhoons battered the country causing more destruction to lives and property. Remember also the passage he wrote about the country being "misplaced" in the pacific rim of fire? Indeed this last few days, the world's most near-perfect coned volcano is threatening to erupt anytime soon. You know what the locals tell their children in times like this? Yes, you guessed right. Pray harder. In Japan, which has 10% of the world's active volcanoes and one of the countries in the Pacific Rim of Fire just like the Philippines, kids as young as five years old know the drills in times of calamity. And I tell you, praying is not one of them. Photos: BBC News

Lost My Gloves

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 07:05:17 +0000

Again. While the rest of Europe is trying to cope with the chaos brought about by the unusually snowy and chilly winter, I am still trying to get over the pair of gloves I seemed to have dropped/misplaced somewhere just this morning. I blame my early morning schedule for this frivolous event as I was still technically sleeping (my brain scans would definitely show REM at that time) while getting off the bus. Yes, I am now a morning person and not the night owl I once used to be three centuries ago. Nowadays, I’d get up at 5:00 A.M., take the bus to work at 05:55 and be at the lab bench by 6:30 AM or so. Why start early? It is simply because I’m getting older and perhaps becoming more ambitious. Besides, I estimated from this old post that if you’d live up to 80 years, and assuming complete independence of mind by the time you’re 15 yrs old, you’ll probably spend 20 yrs asleep of the remaining 65 years of being a mature individual (who is supposed to be contributing something good for the human race instead of just lying immobilized on the bed sleeping). Ok, forget about your duty to society, but just think about all that time you’d spend sleeping. That’s a lot of blogging hours! LOL! Now going back to my lost pair of gloves, it is not even a month old and I hope that the person who finds them would experience the same warmth, comfort and tenderness they gave me. Wow, talking about taking things for granted. Never ever take things for granted, people, even smelly gloves. Man, I already miss my gloves.

Schadenfreude

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 08:06:57 +0000

Despite my claims of immortality and unrivalled moral righteousness, I realized I'm still human after all. For why hasn't it bothered me when I saw the bloodied face of Berlusconi in the news yesterday? In fact I felt that kind of happiness many earthlings consider as the most genuine of them all: Schadenfreude, the pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. In my search for answer about my unbelievable lack of empathy to this man, I just had to recall the following news items about him: he told the 18,000 people evacuated to live in tents after a powerful earthquake in Italy to "treat it as a weekend of camping" after allegations of sex orgies at his residences, with women as young as his daughters, he denied paying for sex remarking, "it takes away the thrill of the conquest." he once said to a lady politician, "You are more beautiful than intelligent" on live Italian TV. he tried to influence Italian laws to give him immunity from prosecution while he remains in office. What made the attack even sweeter was prior to it, he exclaimed during the rally, "I am not a monster as the opposition claims — and not just because I am handsome." Well, you will definitely be handsome after your plastic surgeons fix your missing two teeth, broken nose and some extra adjustments here and there. Ok, I don't condone violence towards political leaders. But throwing pies, eggs, shoes, replica of the Milan cathedral, and other non-lethal objects to politicians suffering from serious disconnect from reality is forgivable.

I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 13:24:41 +0000

You’re damn right there, Ms. Katy Perry. Note that "kissing a girl" and "kissing another girl" are two different animals, the latter being the source of Tiger’s terrible predicament these days. He should have known better, being a man of his stature (überrich and überfamous) that sticking to hole-in-one, or hole-in-two or -three, depending on poor Elin’s preferences, should be his game plan. But I guess he thought he was playing a regular golf game and trying to go through 18 holes at once. Ok, ok, pardon for the real bad analogy and pun but this is my blog gaddemit and I can declare martial law anywhere without the approval of the congress or even the King of Sweden for that matter! LOL! So why do men kiss another girl? The short answer is because they can! It is like asking a real mountaineer, why climb up the mountain, and getting that casual reply, "Because it is there!" It is not only men by the way who do these kind of things. Remember that story about this richest woman in germany, that BMW heiress who was blackmailed by her lover? The blackmailing thing is another story but she was a mother of three and was still married while having a tryst with her Swiss gigolo. The point I wanted to make here is if you cannot help not kissing another person, ask your partner’s permission first. In the event that your partner doesn’t subscribe to that concept of polyamorous relationship (which is most likely), then break up with him/her first. That is just being fair I guess. Afterwards, you are free to indulge in carnal desires, here, there and everywhere. Amen.