Metrobloggen

Great combination! Not.

I.

II.

More here: http://www.sadanduseless.com/2010/05/steve-jobs-vs-bill-gates/

Smartass colleague: Why can't they just put a lid on that damn volcano? I need to fly this weekend, man!

Me: How would you like a cork up your ass when you need to fart? It's nature's way, man!

This sketch of a car (?) was released by a police station from some obscure village in Norway. According to the witness, this suspicious-looking car was seen at the place where an old woman was murdered.

Since the wheels are missing, it's possible that this car was travelling on two feet of snow when the witness spotted it. The form kind of reminds you of a modern race car but the rear side (i think that's what the bottom drawing is) somehow resembles that of a 60's thunderbird. Well I hope they find this car. In the meantime, the Swedes are feasting over this norwegian sketch as a laughing matter.   

This reminds me of this sketch of a suspect from the Bolivian police sometime last year:

This was aired on their national TV news and believe it or not, the police claimed later that they successfully caught this person. Well, I guess if you look like the sketch above, with no ears, peculiar hair-do and all that, it will be very, very hard not to recognize you.    

Here's a Valentine's poem to you all from Edward Lear, ~1870. One of the very few poems I still know by heart, and can recite with feelings...LOL.

The Owl and The Pussycat

I.

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
    In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
    Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
    And sang to a small guitar,
'O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
      What a beautiful Pussy you are,
          You are,
          You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!'

II.

Pussy said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl!
    How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
    But what shall we do for a ring?'
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
    To the land where the Bong-tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
    With a ring at the end of his nose,
          His nose,
          His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.

III.

'Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
    Your ring?' Said the Piggy, 'I will.'
So they took it away, and were married next day
    By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
    Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
    They danced by the light of the moon,
          The moon,
          The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

Lovely, isn't it?

Me, too! Somehow, I also missed my self-aggrandizing and opinionated posts.

Well, the fact of the matter is that this unusually harsh winter season has forced me into a state of torpor, a kind of physical and mental hibernation typical of bats and mice. Temperature has been below zero in weeks and no sunlight whatsoever has managed to pierce through this part of Sweden's atmosphere. People have thus turned into cold-blooded, and pale-skinned bipeds, much like those beautiful and sex-starved characters in nowadays hugely popular vampire series.

Speaking of which, I'm inclined to believe that I was once a vampire during the high renaissance, providing assistance to Michaelangelo while he was painting the ceiling of Sistine chapel. How do you think he could paint upside down for hours for four years without a vampire assisting him? Next time you visit Sistine, focus your binocular somewhere in the iconic Creation of Adam portion of the fresco and you will perhaps see the graffiti I left there which read, "mogLi wuz here! 1510 "

Next time I'll tell you about my apprenticeship with L da V, as he was more popularly known then. Ever wondered about the true story behind Pretty Mona's lack of brows? 

Well goodbye for now. I got to take my daily V drink.    

If you have a Facebook account, try to type the default phrase you see on your wall writing area (in swedish, the logg area).

If your Facebook is in english, it should be, "What´s on your mind?"

In swedish it should say in your Logg, "Vad gör du just nu?"

Then try to "share" ("dela") it.

Makes me wonder why it won’t register in the system?

Also, now that I saw the swedish version, it is interesting that the english "what’s on your mind?" has the counterpart phrase, "vad gör du just nu?" in swedish, which is translated to "what are you doing right now?"

"What are you doing right now?" is a rather stupid question to pose on facebook, I’d say. Because the smart aleck in me will of course write, "Facebooking, what else you nincompoop!"

Perhaps this "asking the obvious" is another swedish thing that I have yet to understand.

Addendum: You can get around the bug by changing the language settings first into another language then write the phrase in your own language. Then you can impress all your facebook friends that you are sharing the phrase they all see anyway on their walls. Sounds stupid and meaningless, right? Well that's the point. LOL. 

Ok, this has nothing to do with HGG, the kick assprof with 4-body problem, as I'm sure she finds amusement in labeling herself with that academic title.

What I'm not sure though is whether the guest researcher which my department invited from abroad would appreciate it.

On the door announcing this guest researcher's lecture:

This is a typical SweEnglish mistake, when the Swedes use swedish expression/words within the context of the english language.

In the university hierarchy of english-speaking countries (primarily in the U.S.), there are the Assistant Professor and Associate Professor titles, the former abbreviated as Asst. Prof. and the latter, Assoc. Prof. Thus, Ass Prof won't be able to distinguish between the two. And besides, Ass Prof is the abbreviation for a real university title, those Ass**** Professors, who delight in causing much pain to the asses of lowly mortals around them.

Anyway, I'd be so looking forward to this lecture of our brand new Ass Prof!

Same as last year's.

Remember God's email to me?

Dear Faithful,I'm sorry to say that your nation will not be spared from another threatening typhoon, nor from any other natural calamity for that matter...

True enough, some weeks after that email, at least two more typhoons battered the country causing more destruction to lives and property.

Remember also the passage he wrote about the country being "misplaced" in the pacific rim of fire? Indeed this last few days, the world's most near-perfect coned volcano is threatening to erupt anytime soon.

You know what the locals tell their children in times like this? Yes, you guessed right. Pray harder.

 In Japan, which has 10% of the world's active volcanoes and one of the countries in the Pacific Rim of Fire just like the Philippines, kids as young as five years old know the drills in times of calamity.

And I tell you, praying is not one of them.